I was in an apartment, living with former members of the Knapp House, including newer people I didn't know (though I might have met some - fictitious - in other dreams). There was a very large owl-like creature that had gotten in and was causing some havoc. We somehow manage to capture it, but instead of letting it go right away, Stacey decided to play with. She let it rest on her arm and started petting it, while I headed to another room to rest. Although I closed the door, I could still see through it. Suddenly, the bird let out a huge yellow liquid poop, which streamed and splashed throughout the entire apartment. Luckily, we had just moved in and there was little to no furniture, and many people were out on the large balcony. I could see large goopy strips of it all along the room I was in, and I marvelled at how so much had gotten in despite the door being shut - it must have slipped under the crack. I stood, paralyzed, in the corner, as I could see no way to move without stepping in it. After some long moments of indecision, I finally resorted to jumping and hovering. Stacey had already started to mop it up using our new Swiffer Wetjet. She had cleared most of the main room, and she handed it off to me to get the other one. I very meticulously wiped every spot I could see, trying to break up the stuff by first spraying it with the Swiffer - which had a button on the underside of the handle and the nozzle placed on the topside - so you had it twist the whole thing upside down to aim. After a long time, I had only cleared about a tenth of the room, and I was smearing it around more than cleaning it up. A couple of the girls came back from outside, and were exclaiming about the poop... even as they were standing in it barefoot. I had to say something, but Stacey suddenly came over and grabbed the Swiffer from me. She said to do a rough sweep with it, and that she would use paper towels afterwards to pick it up more cleanly.

We later went out to a bar that night, which was a long, dark wooden affair with a central bar and a outside patio. I saw one of my roommates outside, talking to a labmate of mine, both guys. To my surprise, they started kissing, and the whole bar cheered them on. I went inside and found a seat with a couple of nice, but nerdy looking people. In the table over, also nerds, were two guys that looked a little off, something about their eyes. The bigger guy started picking a fight with the other, and they both took off their shirts and started brawling. Both had huge bodies, but weird looking. The bigger guy had a massive torso, but it was boxy, lumpy and misshapen, while the other guy had a massive gut. Again, the whole bar cheered while they pushed each other into tables and took some good swings. I wanted to get out of the way, so I walked over to the big screen TV on one end. I sat down with a group of black women and grabbed the large remote (it looked kind of like an RC controller). I flipped through the channels, but it was mostly news and snow sports. I commented that nothing good was on, and one of the girls said that "Yeah, when someone takes the remote." I apologized and slid the remote back over. It was then that I noticed each of them had one eye drooped way down, like in the Goonies. They started hitting on me, and I quickly excused myself to the bathroom. On the way there, behind the bar, I bumped into a waiter who dropped his plates. For a moment, he turned into a hooded magician type, but rapidly became a waiter again. I walked past the old table now, and saw deep scratches on the two fighting guys - who were now sitting down again over some beers.

Later, I was wandering around a fantastical outside world, with cartoonishly dark green hills dotted with Stonehenge-like pillars. I walked into some wooden house and saw more of the hooded magician-types, who started to attack me. I launched some fireballs at them, and soon cleared them out. There wasn't much loot, so I headed back out. I wandered farther into ever more dangerous-looking territory. I entered a spiraling corridor of sorts, made from the pillars. In there,  I was attacked by more guys, but this time they had the bigger fire and lightning spells. I tried to run as fast as I could, but found that I was controlling my movements by typing "forward, left, right, back" on my keyboard for each move I wanted to make. Each turn would spin the directions, so it was difficult to reorient myself each time. I ended up in a lot of dead ends and eventually died. I respawned in the same area, and tried to run out again. I was typing slowly, so I tried whether I could shorten the directions to "f l r b." Three of them worked, but l was already used to mean "look." So though I was now a little faster, I had gone too far away now from the easy "starting area" of the game and into the high-level regions. I had no way of getting out.

posted by Larry at 9:29 AM